Tawiza

Ur ssawal s ils nnek zegh g ighenghinen. G nnzvazvit itwabbin zeg yidv unelli n lgud n unuddem n temzvi immarghen pa yadvfut. Ad tasit jaj nnek am usvennel hessi-messi. Ghend am ca urba ameodur n tasa ur ibadven x ca n wawal ad nwanwa idjin ur imzaray ag innun mqqur iqqur. La taqqat s ca n wawal dvnin, am makka nsawal s usudven ghend lkamanja. Ad tbadvet ad teget anazvur icwan, iffghen amkilli (amaynu). Pa la ktutcen ad ken taghzi yadven, igan oenwa. Itwasin s afella, llan win itinin ajeooeb (sublimation) lat akit is iga ils igan gherk qertva asafar nnek: apidvur qertva, amezdagh qertva da y cerrgen ihellal aday tsellek ica g uxsas nnek. Ad nini am ca n usghuy izemmemen (tasfift), d ay aghul ak ulehleh n uhersvi nnek ibsel, mazgmi tremghet. Yuts inegniwen zrinin zeg wawal ussani. Amzerga ghirk ghifs tisent, ad tinin, ghirak bar is gin izepwanin ad tmenzaghen x tit ad x nghanin g wul.Ur illi mag innan ca aka ur ad ak nnin agd i sur ihli kaman: g ca n tnila assaw ycbab ghend ca «s ttawil?» s uberrem n wawal ad k issiqdven gher «sar t iwtvetev» neghd «kul ur suhal ixf nnek» ghend «ghertad awan ur igin abupali». Abupali ur t git ak d ayen illan is tgin ayt udemmu (croyant). Lat ggunin xas mara iftun ghifun. Manig ad wen i idda g tudert nnun: ad tawdvem g wawal n win itvnin (autres) yulin is ittwasi g umata nnes idj n wass akuc issen matta twargit (idéal) illan ffir n wawal uters inna g wi u rit iwin boit.
Pa tan itaghulen gher uzvurad ur yumizven g wawal nnes. Azruy jar ssin n walsiwen is iga usekkin nnek asusem. Ad k twannayet, bezzez caygan n udmawen, imessus s umata nnes, yallap yuts. D wad ur xa ittawin ak. Idj n umasnaw (uqaccaw) itwassen g tudert iga irawen smi issawal s tqebbadvt pa itini la issawal tarusit (russe) s ufus d mrawt (15) n ilsawen. Al netcin, la tinix is igu aoenzvul, pa la t itawi ususem izzvayen ad inziz ghend ad icewweq (rythmer) ca n izlan, ad k ad yini ca g uneggaru.
Allig iga Pulderlin (amelgaz) amharsv n igrik (yaghul d ffir uyen al ifassen n llalman) issiwel g ca wawal iherran x tisi uzzal. Is ikka uggid allig itesredv ils n ca n udghar itvnin.
«Inidan (signes) am nitni ay nga, pa d uxat inin ag ict amutti g manig tell aca n tamara, pa nedda g umata nessenfila awal nnex g timizar itvnin» (Zeg tmedyazt n «nnimuzin»). Aberrani ad ibadv ad issek, iggim g toenzvet mi gguten tiddiyen. Xas ayen ara yini, ad t yig: ad ig ameddis, cirra, tadeft udar, lefluka n wadvu (la voile), tigni, amnay, icirran… matta itvnin? wad la itghima tarvuzvi, wad da myawatv. Pa isal wad xas issluza g ususem. Ma wen itsellan? Lak tezzruyan, ayen t ggen aya. Ffir uyen is trim ad nessiwel am s tit? Mmax allig tebbim (tezrim) tanut n teftiyat n tan ad ken iseggmen? Makka y traoam i ymessefliden gmi temgaram awal s ils tusim s ulemmed, s ils amderbel? ca y gin ghrun, is ipen tusim g ujenna mad tessusfem xefsen? Pa oiw nnun! lhess tewtim aka ur itssawalem, anuddem ittursen pa immunt i idj unezgum ixsen ad iqqim la isusem. Azvettva mi iffegh ttawil nnun itceyyaken, pa gin t d asekkin g lehtva ur xa itawedv, ur t inat agd y ict urxat wanna, agd ict gmi xa nssawal. G umezwaru, tga tirit isemtven ag wid ssawalnin s wawal n tmurt d yuckan am killi, itwaxsen, itukerfen. Cwi d ay ighemsawit ils n tmura d yusin am ca ugelman imerjen. S umanna krefnin (mmuten) ur igi asusem n unzgum gmi xa tmyattvafen leftiyat tama n imi d unelli. Bar is iga asusem issaghulen anelli yura d ukalkul la itenghal s lewhalit am ca uraoa n tileft n temtvitv it lan g tudert ur illin s wbda.
G tighemmar, 30/11/95.
(Asgudj n Hammu Bouchkhar, tughrift a nusi t seg Julia Kristevan «Étrangers à nous-mêmes», Gallimard, 1991, p 26, 27, 28, 29)