Tawiza

"Je est un autre" (Nec d ijen nnidven), Arthur Rimbaud
"Ad ac t' inigh nican, war xafi tagh: tudart nnec ad tiri… d taqudvadvt: tudfi cek tzura… Tazura y ad oad war gharnegh minzi i t ghad nnegh… Wenni i ghad tadef war zzays tteffegh hama tghedvr it'… war ttessned mermi i cek tuwta… xmi ghad tzdegh, ttghima tfeytas di arrimet amen tteg tzura di tihnayin n ukeccudv… Ghar barra tahnayt war t ixessv ca, maca ur nnes yarca… Ssad d usawen ad… Ggi t deg wzedjif nnec… ad yiri uyad d uyin… ad… ad… ad… "
Awar n imessesfer itaggûj cway cway, yedwer d amepmep; deg wmeggaru war qqimegh tsrigh as. Netta s tiddi nnes itaggûj; tifras nnes fssyent deg ict n tayyut d tazzdadt tekk d jar ayi d akids. Tayyut nni tmarniy, tteggdir arami xaf negh tccûr axxam; am tayyut nni i tugha ismiridven, di temzvi inu, i twririn d tiziwin n ayt Oddi d Izaryah, ttmurud d ar d xaf negh teccûr taghzut mani nzdegh uca ttafed ijjen war itwiri wennidven: ntghima war ntsri mghar i wsbeooi n txswin d tighatvin i weddaren i ayt bab nsnt …
Tssvûr tayyut n wxxam n "l'Hôpital Central" aked tenni n Taghzut, dewrent d ict; wdvan iymiren, weddren imtran jar idvnnat d yidv ad…
Twarigh tafunast nnegh ttbarjegh deg ugermam n idammen i d as d itpnuccûren zeg iri ghar idvaren n Hemmu Abarcan, ibedden di rgûrnet, ssarwar n tinghi, atcamir igeffedv ar taghmart n ughir, ajenwi deg wfus, itraja mermi ghad yeffegh buhber nnes hama ad t yazu. Hemmu Abarcan yezzugart arami yugi, ighadjen mmuden, idmaren iriwen, tmart d tamarghighghedt, tanyart d tmiriwrt, arezzet d taqudvadvt teqqen, tzeyyar x uzedjif. Tisi d d ayi tfunast nnegh tittvawin… wenni war izvrin tittvawin n tfunast xmi tzawar, war yessin tazwart!
Twarigh yemma tharri tazwact di tbambast zzat i tyuri n tfuct, anpam n tsirt d tamuziqit i izran nnes id tayem zegw adjagh n wur.
Twaright tmejjer imendi deg iyyar n Tzrut: nettat wapa (baba war ssinegh manis yekka), jar isdjyiwen d ighezran, tfuct n wzyen n wass tsqaqa. Tsqar: tmejjer wapa: mindi txarras? Udsegh ghars (nec twarigh t, nettat war yi twiri): twarigh tuddinin n tidi tpnunnuyent as x tnyart, tmunent id s nnej i tammiwin. Zi twara ghar tennidven tkessi aghir nnes, tssekka t' x tnyart, tafedjuct n imendi deg wfus.
Twarigh t ttayem zi tara tazeggûght, adu tfawt tayedjint n tziri; aman udrusen: tzvemma ten d d azvemmî zi tmûrt; ttayem s ughenja: ayenni unessis yiggêj.
Twarigh t tssray imarmez di tgharghart, udem nnes yedded, d azeggûgh.
Twarigh t tssirid imendi ghar tgermamt; tzekkî tinifin deg wnrar; ttzzvi tafunast awarni ughedjuy n tfuct; tdveffi tixswin zzat i tyuri n tfuct.
Twarigh t tudar x mmis n Pemmut trettfi t'; twarigh t teccat deg worur i tssrit n Mamma u Badi i wmi yedjef waryaz nnes, ttini yas: war ttru ca a yedji, war tedjid d tamezwarut ura d tameggarut…
Tsrigh as tssawar aked tsardunt nnegh, akid ifidjusen, akid tzemmûrt n wazzay.
Tesrigh as teqqar as i baba: war tmarra ghar tiyyita, aqa nitni d imezyanen, war ssinen!
Twarigh t tzukkwa ighzar s ttmari, nec ghars x worur d aseymi, ttawi yi i ssi Hddu Aqudvadv, ad yi yarri (tnusegh war tettvsegh, tbeddan d ghari ifighran d trfsiwin uca iri kkregh d sghuyyugh).
Twarigh baba inya x tsardunt nnegh tacemratc, aqubbu d acemrar, arezzet d tacemratc, akid ughedjuy n tfuct, war ssinegh mani yeggûr. Udem nnes itrehrih (min iteggen ughembub n baba itberrip ammu xmi itettvef abrid n ughdjuy n tfuct?).
Twarigh t' itizedv imendi deg wnrar: netta yqqim, idvaren zzvren x ughzdvis n "lbaraka", nec beddegh as ghar uzedjif, ttvfegh as txancet.
Twarigh t' iffar asraw deg wxxam n rmarmet: tittvawin nnes taryent-ttvarent akid ijimiyyen n ifiran icemraren itenndven i "rmkebbet" zi tisi n wxxam ar tazeqqa, zi tzeqqa ar tisi; zi twara ghar twara isbedda rmkebbet, ikessi ijen n wafar n djewz n ireghman, irccem zzays asraw. Taynit nnes marra tmun deg wnsa nni i yexs ad yarcem. Twarigh ixf inu qqimegh di tmûrt di tghmart n wxxam, tatcamirt d tacemract txnunnes deg wcar, azedjif deg wjenna, ssdvfaregh tittvawin i tireft nni n macina iccûren axxam, i tnndven adu wswadv icdvnen n baba ihdvan min din d afiru deg wxmar ad n artila id iteffghen zi jar idvewdvan nnes. Itawi yi wannay amen qqimegh s wunudv.
Twarigh baba itxecca d zi ssuq; udm nnes ibbarcen; war itwiri, war itsri: war izzenz ca!
Twarigh t' icarrez deg iyyar n wnsif; itwara yemma tiwedv d s wbray uca isbedd tyuya; twarigh ten qqimen ghar igharynen; war ssiwiren; baba itsekkaf atay s uzughmet.
Twarigh ixf inu qqimegh zzat i ssi Hddu Aqudvadv x ujartir di tmzida, taqubbut d tabarbact, imettvawen tpnuccuren x tarwiht i ghari x ifadden: itagi uzedjif inu ad iysi "awlâ laka fa awlâ tumma awlâ laka fa awlâ"; irs inu itnqradv; ssi Heddu yeccat, nec spiwriregh s wawaren ad imsarwasen.
Twarigh ixf inu akid tyuri n fuct taymegh d zeg ighzar bu yighghed. Ccûregh iqubac, qqnegh ict n taghma ghar udvar n tsardunt hama war d xafi ttarggib xmi gha ggegh aqbuc di taghma nnidven, isigh aqbuc amzwaru ghar ifadden, ssiryegh t' ghar uddis, zi ssinni ghar idmaren; umi gha ssiwdvegh ghar taghma ikkess as usafs i dja d as iqqnen aqemmum uca d waman ad yi d smirdven zeg wzdjif ar idvaren. Isigh s wsqinfet: aman d ismmadven udfen yi ar tirmect.
Twarigh ixf inu ggûregh jar ijen upymur n iwdan, daysen iwssura di imzzyanen, timgharin d iryazen, ihenjiren d tihenjirin, nggûr ad nawi tasrit i Wmazuz.
Twarigh ixf inu di ssuq n ttrata, tnndvegh i bu idlisen i yssun mika di tmûrt, ifsar xafs cwayt n idlisen turi xafsen tojjajt: "alf layla wa layla", "ar-rawdv al oatvir fi nuzpat al xâtvir", "bughyat kulli muslim min svahihi Muslim", "al oabarât" (Mustvafa Lutvfi al Manfalûtvî"), "an-nabiy", "al ajniha al mutakassira" (Jabrân Khalil Jabrân), "oawdat ach-chaykh ilâ svibâp"… Twarigh ixf inu tenndvegh, tawyegh, tarrigh: xsegh ad sghegh "an-nabiy" n Jabrân maca min ghari n tinoacin war yi itiwedv: iqqim yi wzyen n duru. War zemmregh ad as inigh i baba ad yi yarni: tinoacin… war idji ca! Umi ghari d yarra taynit bu idlisen, yufa tenndvegh as amenni, inna yi: "awi d min ghark d isid rktab i txsed!". Wcigh as 3 duru d wzyen i tugha smunegh (baba iticc ayi 2 frank i ssuq), Ggigh "an-nabiy" adu wafar inu uca ttvfegh abrid ghar taddart.
Twarigh ixf inu qqimegh deg ighzar n tijdect, mani war twifigh, "an-nabiy" jar ifassen, hdjwegh tirra d ahraw. Qqimegh x yijen wzvru, x ubadu n ighzar; war skkêdvegh ammu ura ammu, tittvawin war tksent x tafriwin n "nnabiy", amxmi twamsregh d amsar akid wzvru nni xf qqimegh, arami ijen wjdvidv yus d yarsa yi x uzdjif.
Twarigh ixf inu tmuttuyegh jar igherman n Katalunya, arzzugh minzi d ghad awyegh areqquz n wghrum; sqarqubegh di twura n ayt bab n tawuri, mghar ad yi swedven, u zzat ad ssntigh ad arzugh x wawaren inu yuzan n sbbanyut, ad yi inin: "no hay!" (war da ca); qqarent s uqmmum d ifassen.
Twarigh ixf inu ttvawegh zi tmûrt ad ghar tad: ura d ict n tmûrt war yi teysi…
Twarigh ayt Taghzut tarran xafi acar acemrar n imdvran n Tghzut, x ughzdvis n baba d yemma d Hddu Aqudvadv d marra innidven; tmarran ad yi ntyen.
War yi izzidjdjez ca ixf inu…
Umi tfsi tayyut i dja xafi iccûren axxam di "l'Hôpital Central", ufigh ixf inu nec wapa deg wxxam. Ssighegh arradiyu ufigh t' x "Symphonia Domestica" n Richard Staws.